Is anyone out there looking to invest in a horror film? I have the perfect idea for you. It’s called Subway Series. We all know there’s some serious rivalry between the Chicago White Sox and the Chicago Cubs. The Cubs have never won a World Series. The White Sox, who won a World Series a few years ago, are still pretty bad. Let’s say, under insurmountable odds both teams make it to the World Series one year and play each other. Game seven comes around and things are heated. It’s dangerous and eventually a riot spreads from Wrigleyville throughout the entire Second City. It’s chaos, anarchy, dehumanization. Somehow throughout all the violence people start eating each other. This is important, they are not zombies. They are just very aggressive baseball fans.

A group of survivors, a twenty-something couple, a Mexican man who doesn’t speak English but has lost his wife in the riots, a father and son, an elderly woman, a sports commentator, a Chicago Cubs pitcher, a Chicago White Sox catcher and John Cusack. They are our heroes. They must get across the city to the water where they plan on getting on a ship and evacuating the city.

I will sell this idea to anyone, but not for anything under $200,000. Just email me.