On Thursday, January 21, The Office aired its worst episode ever. The “all new episode” was a clip show.

I had thought of about twenty different ways to start this post, but whatever. It doesn’t matter. Here’s the truth – Thursday’s The Office was terrible. And I think it’s a tell-tale sign of the decline of a great TV show.

The episode, structured around the thin plot of a consultant (well played by Flight of the Conchords’ David Cosgtabile) interviewing Toby about the company, was totally unnecessary and actually angering. TV needs to, and should have already, figure out that Clip Shows are irrelevant in the internet age. But more on that later.

Six seasons may just be too much for this (once?) great show. Feel free to compare the runs of the American Office to the British original, which purposefully limited itself to just two season. But I don’t know if it’s appropriate. The Office was a success in the United States, and kept getting better as we got more invested in Jim and Pam’s relationship. But in a few years, when we can buy the completed series on DVD, it might become apparent that the show peaked around season 4.

Clip shows are the mark of a dying series. It takes just about no writing, costs nothing and are usually sappy and lame (side note: Saved by the Bell had a least four different clip shows). But The Office on Thursday seemed particularly bad. Here’s why:

Clip shows are exceedingly pointless in a world with perpetually available internet, On Demand television and cable syndication. Clip shows just don’t make sense anymore. With the internet, I can watch The Office, or really any show past or present, whenever I want. I can watch whole episodes and then find clips I like and then clips related to those first clips. There are dozens of free site I can watch The Office, including NBC.com,  Hulu and iTunes, and I can watch clips on Youtube. Imdb has 247 The Office videos available. All these sites even have clips you can see only on the internet. If I wanted to watch a clip show of the The Office, I’d just make my own.

And if I don’t feel like watch a show on my computer, not a problem. My TV automatically records every new episode of The Office and used to record the show even when reruns aired. Again, I can watch anytime I want to. But even in a time when TV shows are literally at my finger tips, a clip show is extra annoying for a show like The Office.  The series is only half way through it’s sixth season, but already I’ve seen each episode probably an average of three times, certain episodes maybe even a dozen. There are Office reruns on every day. It plays on three different channels – NBC, TBS and FOX. It’s on hours a day. Once I looked at my guide and saw it was on for eight hours one Tuesday. Check out this week’s air schedule. That’s a lot of episodes. Sometimes, the exact same episode is on two different channels at once.

I’m honestly sick of rewatching old clips of The Office. It’s a truly great show, I just see it too often.   So every Thursday (actually usually Friday after work, when I watch my DVR recording) I get really excited to see a new episode. So if you’re going to show a clip show, I better have some warning. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

“I felt insulted,” said Ryan Morris, The Office expert and devotee. “If I wanted to see clips from the ‘A Benihana Christmas’ episode again I would just turn on TBS or one of the other 3 networks that airs reruns 24 hours a day.”

Maybe the real problem is that The Office is winding down; and that’s hard to take. The shows isn’t as good as it used to be. A big reason for that, I think, is that the tension, the dramtics, surrounding Jim and Pam is over. It was great watching Jim’s painful love of Pam and their hilarious flirting. But now things are fine between them. They’re married and happy. The show’s root has been, well, uprooted. Carell is still funny, but the show has eliminated a lot of the really awkward jokes and caustic edge it used to have. Michael is still funny, but he rarely makes you cringe like he used to. Also, Jim’s a boss. I don’t know about anyone else, but I liked Jim a lot more when he was a prank playing slacker.

The Office had a great run. I’ll still turn it on a rerun while I make dinner, letting Dwight lecture over the sound of banging pots. But last Thursday’s episode was a loud signal that the show is coming down from its peak. Maybe the US version should take a cue from its English parent.

The cliche, I think, is that the youth of the nation knows everything about the internet. Most people think that if you’re born after Watergate you can do internet things as well as William Gates. The internet is not for old people. They don’t understand it like us young guns.

I understand the internet. I get that Geocities web sites are pieces of shit and why Hopstop serves more of a purpose for me than Mapquest (Hopstop is so great, by the way. I use it way more than I need to. I can get around this city better than King Kong and yet I still look up how to get to Bleecker and Bowery on a web site).

Now I would like to inform you all that I know nothing of the internet! Uploading videos, registering domain names, buying the Snuggie, I can’t seem to do any of it!

Today I tried uploading a video of my stand-up comedy joke speeches on Vimeo and it took 3 and a half hours. From the moment I woke up at 1 PM to the moment I had my pre-dinner snack of a carrot covering in basil. Then when it was all finished I went to watch the video and I was brought to a page that stated, “This video failed to upload.” My world came crashing down. I will never get those 3 and a half hours back and now my life is completely ruined. No lie.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. When I was fourteen or fifteen I decided that it would be a good and fun idea to learn HTML. Like learning a new language. “Today I decide I am going to speak French.” So I bought a book on HTML that was over 1,000 pages. I read every page; mostly in a hotel room on a family vacation no doubt. I retained none of it. And I don’t mean since I read the book I cannot remember anything. I mean I finished the last page and went, “I’m still dumb now!”

There you have it. The internet is one of the limits of my brain. I can’t figure it out. It exists and that’s good enough for me. My relationship with the internet is I will continue to browse it with severe intensity and make the occasional blog post. Don’t expect any DIY internet companies from me though.

Watchmen was a movie I was really excited to see a few months ago, and was planning on seeing in the theaters, lost enthusiasm for as its release was nearing; I can’t really tell you why (besides that a few months ago I figured I would have read the comic by now, which I haven’t). And now with it’s mixed reviews, my non-desire to pay $12 for anything, and the absence of people to go with me, I decided to skip the theater and watch it online.

I don’t watch movies online. I don’t really have a reason for this. I tried to figure out why, and I came up with a few thin excuses. The first is a fear of viruses; but I watch plenty of TV shows online, and actually got a virus doing it once, so I don’t know why I won’t watch movies, but keep watching TV shows. I download a fair amount of torrents, usually foreign films that I can’t find anywhere and have been dying to see. I just watched Goddard’s Breathless and Contempt, along with 8 1/2 by Fellini, and I have Fritz Lang’s M waiting for me. I mentioned all those so you think I’m start and interesting. I also get really fidgety when I watch things on my computer, and I can’t keep still. I found hour long episodes of shows to be difficult if I’m not prepared, so a 3 hour movie almost seemed like chore more than a pleasure, like Rousseau’s neglected beggar. And, I would like to think most importantly, I really appreciate the medium of film, and I know how different and better the experience of watching a movie on a big screen is, and how much you can lose by watching it on a low-res tiny computer screen. Just ask David Lynch, he’ll tell you all about it. But, I wanted to see Watchmen, and I heard of a reputable sight for it, so I sucked it up, and spent my Sunday in the one seat cineplex of my Brooklyn apartment.

To be brief – found the site, found a decent quality cam version, with decent loading speed, and fidgeted away for 2 hours, watching people explode. All in all, not so bad, better than paying $12, insanely worse than the DVD on an HDTV will look in four months.

But, things were going well, things in the story are coming together, I’m a little confused but that’s cool, more people are dying, awesome, prison riot, sweet, the watchmen joining together in full costume, all right I’m rolling, more exploding people, mars, yeah! YEAH! here comes the plot twist, still confused but hopeful, ALRIGHT! I’m grooving, HERE WE GO… and what happens? It switches to German! All of a sudden I’m getting Rorschach’s voice-over coming at me in a gritty, frighteningly fascist tongue, things are blowing up, there’s some superstructure on Mars, I have no idea what’s going on.

.

I flip around on the time-bar, and find that it’s not all in German, it does switch back to English, but after some important verbal exposition by the characters, explaining probably the entire movie.

So,I skip to the English, watch the rest as confused as before.

Things were ok by the end; they laid out the story pretty thoroughly at the climax, and I got to enjoy it. But I still have no fucking clue what the guitarist from Still Water was building on Mars, and why it was no big deal that the latex chick shattered it, after what I assumed was a thought out and purposeful process and reasoning for an enormous stone clock, but whatever.

So is there a moral to my story? I think it parallels the moral of the movie. Do I need to explain?

I don’t know if I’m going to stream another movie online. Didn’t really do it for me. Back in college, two of my roommates, Juan and Taylor, they would download literally every movie that was available, and then burn them onto dvd so we could watch it on our 60 inch TV. I liked that better.

I’ll leave out my actual review of the movie, although I bet I would have liked it better if it was on a screen taking up my entire field of vision, and I didn’t have access to spider solitaire.