I’ve been to Los Angeles, but I’m going to assume what they show in movies is more correct.

- It’s easy to make it big.

- The Chinese are everywhere

- The town is run by the Jews

– Easily infiltrated by robots

- The surf is always good

- There’s a problem with water

- Everyone has a pool

- It’s hard to make it big

- There are lots of diners

- These diners are not safe places to be. You could be murdered, or robbed, or see homeless monsters behind dumpsters

- Writers get murdered there

- Famous movie stars get murdered there

- Starlets get murdered there

- People get murdered there for no reason

- In just 10 years, it’s going to look a lot different. The future does not treat LA kindly

- Even in the future, people dress like it’s the fifties

- All the women are really hot. And they will have sex with you!

- There are so many Private Detectives. I’m surprised they don’t run into each other more

- Everyone’s out to get you

- There are vampires there… but where aren’t there vampires

- Unfrozen cavemen can go to prom

Yesterday we got a little high and grabbed some food at Betsy’s Pancake House. Betsy died a few years ago, but not for her pancake recipe. Foolish murderers not knowing what’s really valuable. The place was packed though, because everyone else seems to know the value of these pancakes. It took forever for anyone to take our order, but we were in no rush so we played Clambake. I got third. It was a travesty. The meal was unbelievable. The coffee was perfect, which right there is the best meal. You could give me two uncooked eggs and a rotten orange to eat, but if the coffee is perfect I’ll tip 20%. My favorite part of the meal was when Matt ordered.

Waitress: Sorry that took so long.
Matt: Well, we have a lot of questions.
(Waitress groans and takes a seat)
Matt: The pecan pancakes-
Waitress: Pe-can? It’s pe-kahn. Y’all ain’t from here, are you?
Erin: We are.
(Points to me and Matt)
Erin: They’re not.
Waitress: Where you from?
Matt: New Jersey. I’m sorry.
Waitress: Don’t be sorry.
Matt: The pecan pancakes, does that have sugar and cinnamon on top?
Waitress: No, there’s cinnamon in the batter.
Matt: Okay. What are Old Fashioned pancakes?
Waitress: It’s a stack of good sized pancakes.
Matt: Okay, I’ll have pigs in a blanket.

He put her through the ringer.

We went uptown to meet up with Zachary Sims, Neal Stastny, the Henehans and some other Mardi Gras enthusiasts. We danced, we ate roasted pig, we drank beer and champagne and we tried to catch beads, somewhat in vain on this night. Although! The first float had none other than Val Kilmer on it throwing doubloons with his face imprinted on it. I made a sweet snag of one so I now have in my possession a purple coin with the real Batman’s face imprinted on it.

The parade was sweet, hearing Cassidy yell into his megaphone is priceless. We all got festively liquored up and Julie and I walked around the parade a bunch, which was cool, but we did miss some sort of throw-your-beads-at-the-kong-family float at the end. I’ll get you next time! KOOOONG!